August 29, 2009


I suppose I owe a lot of explanations.

Peace out - there is a kid at school who calls me a hippie. On the first day of school I wore a "All you need is love" shirt with a peace sign just to annoy him. Also on my yearbook he wrote "sup hippie chik" last year. And also last year I had a sign in my binder that said "CAUTION HIPPIES" with an EB0 hippie sprite, and yet he called me a hippie.

Otherkin - this will take a lot of explaining so be prepared.

So a couple of years ago some friends of mine were having precognitions (seeing the future) so I did some research and found, a website about psionics, which is basically stuff you'd call psychic, but it's NOTHING like you'd expect. It's hard, especially at first when you have no sensitivity to energy. Even when you do, it's hard to tell what you're doing. Basically, psionics is convincing your subconsious to move energy to accomplish something. I no longer do much psionics, but I use it to make constructs (a piece of energy that has a certain function, like heating a spot or curing a headache) when I need to do something like cure a headache, simple stuff like that. Really, it could be used for almost anything. Some people can move huge objects without touching them (telekinesis is NOT one of my strong points, I can't move a paperclip) or "read minds" (telepathy is hard for me too, but I did talk to Sally once). No matter what, NEVER EVER get the misconception that it's as easy as movies and books say. It takes hard work and patience, and a lot of dedication, which is why I have trouble keeping interested, since I'm often busy.

So anyways, an otherkin is someone whose energy system (or aura, life force, whatever) has been sort of imprinted with stronger traits, changing their personality. It's not necessarily intentional. I think my obsession with cats as a small child and then getting cats who became my closest friends caused parts of cat-ness to copy onto me, but it's just a theory. All I know is that I have cat-like traits: I've always been a loner, but close to my family and friends; I'm shy; I value my sleep; I prefer the dark; my eyes adjust to the dark very quickly; I'm careful about self defense/react quickly; and I have sensitive ears. There are others, but that's the main stuff. People who consider themselves vampires but are not actually either energy vampires or blood-drinking vampires are often otherkin.

Now, the last thing to explain is what I told Emily. Well..... I told her about psionics. She called me a freak and didn't talk to me for months. She had been my best friend since preschool, and this hurt me. Even now, almost a year later, I'm hurt deep inside. I would probably prefer if she had never switched schools in kindergarten and I could've forgotten her then. I'd be less hurt. Since I don't show much emotion, nobody expects me to hurt, but when I really get hurt, it's like getting slashed in the side, and it takes a long time to heal, and then remains a scar for even longer.

I don't want to talk about this any more. If I post about it, it's because I'm trying to recover from it, but don't be surprised if I never mention it again.


The puppy...what can I say...he sleeps 70% of the time and spends most of the remaining 30% trying to destroy his bed.

His mother is Beagle/Jack Russel, and the father is like blue tick and something else. He is adorable, but like I said, I don't go for cuteness...unless in kittens :P

Earlier, my mom said we should let him into the rest of the garage instead of just his area, and he peed, then walked around for a while, sniffing the ground. Suddenly, I realized he was pooping on the ground. I carried him over to the newspaper ASAP and he stood there for a moment, circled the room, then came back to the same place (just after my mom moved the poo) and crapped again. I carry him to the newspaper again, and my mom moves the poo again. She took him outside, but it was raining. So then he comes to the same spot and pees. Yeah. He seems to think this random spot in the middle of the garage is the bathroom.

So pretty soon my brothers come in. They terrify the poor thing, and move him into the enclosure. Then they decide to name his favorite toy (a piece of rope with two knots)...Bobby. I was like "WTF?!?! you named the rope but not the dog???" but of course I didn't say that since they're little.

...Hi, I'm Bored! ^_^

Puppies and alcoholic beverages

Yep, we're getting the puppy. Even worse, we're getting him today.

So to calm down, I played piano and then played some SSBB. And suddenly, an IDEA came to me:

Wastin away again in Super Smash Bros Brawl
Searchin for my lost talent that I had
Some people claim that there are brothers to blame
But I know it's the road trip's fault

Margaritaville is a cool song. It's catchy.

August 27, 2009


Oh much happened today...OK maybe I should start at the beginning.

So this morning I went to my first class and Emily was in the same class. We didn't talk much, so I think she's kinda scared of me after what I told her last year. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but basically I scared her and she didn't talk to me for months (she was living on the other side of the country for a year) and when we talked a little it wasn't much and she hasn't seemed to want to talk to me since then. Why can't people be more accepting? *cries* I mean, we were friends for ALMOST TEN FREAKING YEARS!!! I tell her a secret because I wanted support and she gets all scared and doesn't talk to me again. Don't worry, it's not like I did drugs or anything, it's more something...supernatural. I don't want to talk about this now, so don't ask.

Also, this morning I saw Brandon. He doesn't seem to have a crush on me, which is fine,  but he really does seem like a nice person. I'd like to talk to him sometime anyways.

Well, I wound up with some of the weirder teachers. My English teacher, for instance, has ADD, ADHD, and dyslexia. Her father was a major drug dealer in his day (and from the sound of it was an alcoholic) and her mother didn't want to be with him because if he killed someone some of the blame might be shifted to her. Growing up, my teacher was thought of as someone who would be a failure in life, but now she's a great English teacher! She tells lots of stories, but gets distracted and ends up telling other stories. Also, she forgets if she told us something or not. Don't get me wrong, she's really nice and a rather awesome teacher, but she is really very forgetful and easily distracted.

My science teacher, on the other hand, is the one who, last year, was thought of as the crazy one. So basically last year there were three science teachers. I got the one everyone said was gay. I personally think he's just a pervert, but it was common belief he was gay. He has now moved though, so I don't have to put up with the creepiness. Seriously, he was practically flirting with my mom at the parent-teacher conferences, and he's like at least ten years younger (not long out of college, I think). I am SO glad he's gone. My current science teacher is...odd. I don't know much about her yet, but she strikes me as an odd lady.

In band, there is a student teacher for at least part of the year. I don't remember his name, it was something weird.

I am dreading gym. Gym is the only class I've ever failed a test in, and luckily, last year I only had to do one quarter because my schedule was all messed up and I had to get rid of a class and since it couldn't be a core class it wound up being gym. Also, I'm scared cuz my gym teacher is kinda crazy and he'll be teaching us health as well. And it's the year where we start the creepier health stuff. Ugh. *shiver*

OK, onto the latest news...I'm getting a puppy! My mom's friend/aquaintance has a dog who had puppies and they're like perfect for our family and we're probably going to get one. Either the one they call Bruiser, or the one they call Whitie. Probably Brusier. Bruiser is the biggest, and Whitie is the runt, I think. If we get Whitie, I think Yuki would be a good name because she's almost completely white, and yuki is Japanese for snow. Also, it seems to fit her well. It's the only name I can really picture her having. As for Bruiser...I don't know. I think we should get Bruiser at the moment, but I want my mom to ask about them and find out more about them first. If we get one, it's probably going to be this weekend. Tomorrow we're going to Wal*Mart so I can get a book on dogs, hopefully Puppies for Dummies, since when we got our cats, Kittens for Dummies was the most helpful book I got. I enjoyed reading it, it was interesting, and it taught me almost all the basic information about cats I know. Of course, there are other books as well that were just as helpful, but I couldn't have chosen a better first cat book. I ended up getting Cats for Dummies as well, and also a bunch of other great cat books eventually, but Kittens for Dummies is the one that got me through the beginning of cat ownership.

Peace out (lol I'll explain later),
Natalie Anonymous

August 26, 2009


Only one day of summer left: today. Man, that sucks. But there are some good things about it. I get to see my friends again, see if Emily and I are still friends, maybe talk to Brandon a little...?

Okay, maybe I should explain about Brandon.

He was a new kid near the end of the year. In fact, he has like one picture in the yearbook and no school picture. His name isn't even mentioned. I helped him out like once or twice, and one day a friend asked me if I thought he was cute. I don't pay attention to cuteness at all when it comes to boys, so I had never thought about it. But then I realized he was super-cute. I just said, "yeah, kinda I guess..." Not long after that, it became blindingly obvious he had a HUGE crush on me. He would always let me go ahead of him, whether we were on the bus, going through a door, or even walking down the hall. He's VERY shy, even more so than I am, so he never talked to me, but once he somehow became a part of a conversation about computers. Maybe he's good with computers? The conversation was very short, so I didn't find out much. Anyways, I know he lives somewhere near me, either at the apartments down the block or the street where everyone lives that's just one long block over.

So, my plans for today are to eat lunch in a few minutes, then play the piano (I have my new binder set up now) and then go on the computer for a while. After my stomach has settled down, I'll go for a walk (near the area where I think Brandon lives, in case he's outside for some reason). After that, probably read or spend time on the computer.

August 25, 2009

Mini Hard Drives

So since I haven't backed up lately, I decided to get it over with today. Right now I'm waiting for files to move. Well, I have three mini-hard drives. Two are the portable "jump drives" or "thumb drives". One is 1 gig, the other has FREAKING 16 GIGABYTES!!! AWESOME!!! Okay, calm down. The other I have is 360 gigs, but it's not so portable, and I use it to back up my stuff. Occasionally I back this up to my mom's big hard drive that's like 500 or a terabyte or something.

Well guess what I noticed about my precious little's been keeping secrets from me. By the looks of it, when I delete something it just moves it to a different, hidden folder. I had never lookd through the hidden folders until now, and there's one called "Trashes" that seems to keep all my deleted stuff until it's written over. So I went and deleted all of the stuff out of there after making sure I had backed up all that before. Which is a good thing since I found some files I wanted to move to my new laptop. But it was really annoying that it keeps all this stuff for practically no reason. I mean, someone else might accidentally delete something, but I'm very careful about what I delete. If I delete something, I know it's either backed up somewhere else or I really don't need it, which renders this feature unnecessary and VERY irritating.

August 24, 2009

Little Sisters

I have two brothers who I swear can't possibly be related to me. I also have two sisters who are not related to me, and yet I relate to them much better than humans. Yes, I'm talking about my cats, what my mom calls the little sisters I never had. Technically, in cat years they're way older than me (like early thirties/late twenties-ish) but they're three years old. They are biologically related, but hardly look it, and don't act it at all. They are siblings, and part Siamese, I think.

Sally is small. She looks a lot like a tortie-point Siamese, but not lithe, just small and kinda thin. She is fluffy, and has HUGE eyes. She looks like she never grew out of kittenhood. If she enjoyed snuggling, she'd be absolutely awesome. I mean, she is just SO fluffy! Aside from that, she is a genious. She figures all sorts of things out for herself, and doesn't like being taught by humans. She can open drawers and cabinets, sometimes open doors (but she's really too small) and learned how to go through cat flaps by just observing another cat a couple of times. She is shy, but brave when it comes to exploring the outdoors. She often doesn't back away from dogs.

Sapphire is the opposite. She is a large, slightly fat cat with shiny sleek fur, like deer fur but softer and with a downy under layer. She looks like a sealpoint Siamese, but she is also like a snowshoe. She has a white spot on her forehead, and white paws, and she is rather stocky for a Siamese. She loves learning tricks. I not only showed her how to climb up and down ladders and come when called, but she will also sit, beg, and high-five...for a price. She will not perform unless given food. She loves laying in the sun and just being lazy. She is really a true house cat. She doesn't like going outside that much, but on some days she'd kill to escape the house. She follows me around, and we enjoy each other's company.

I relate to cats much more than I relate to people. Well, I do think I'm an otherkin, so that's not that surprising. I'll explain otherkin probably tomorrow. It's getting late here.

Odd Dreams

I have no clue what reminded me of this, but this was at least a year or two ago. Well I had this dream where I went to school and it turned out it was Evan's (old aquantance from preschool who is a major teacher's pet) birthday. So for some reason we did this odd ceremony of presenting the gift, that involved praying. I was the one who had the job of conducting this odd ceremony for unknown reasons. Anyways, I got interupped two times, and Evan was acting all bossy and important and kinda annoying me (I've been tuning it out for years) and on the third attempt I realised that when I did the sign of the cross, for the whole time instead of doing forehead-chest-shoulder-shoulder I was doing forehead-chin-cheek-cheek. Yeah. I woke up somewhere around there.

August 22, 2009


I wonder if blind people who have always been blind know what color is, even if they don't know the word for it?

Aside from that, this is the point.

My favorite color is blue. I think red symbolizes blood, death, or maniacism (is that the right word? maybe maniac-ness would fit better, IDK). Orange is bright and bold, beautiful and cunning. Yellow is happy, innocent, silly, naive. Green is life, movement, energy. Blue is calm, and has a complicated meaning that doesn't seem to fit into words. Purple is like the average person: not innocent, but better than you'd expect once you get to know them. White is unstained, unblemished; black is mysterious and unclear.

I have no idea why I am posting this, surprisingly. Well, my favorite is blue, and my second favorite is black.

I am very bored at the moment.


Well, now I am a member of DA! My account can be found at I do mostly fanart at the moment. Yesterday I put up a bunch of older stuff, and today I'm going to put up some stuff I finished last night.

Mother 3 Final Battle

I really like the Earthbound/Mother series. I mean, I'm like, obsessed. Well after I won Mother 3, I spent the next week going over the final battle in my head, thinking about meaningfulness and symbolisms and stuffs like that. And I came to a conclusion: the final battle is not between Lucas and the Masked Man. It is not between Hinawa, Lucas, and the MM. No, it's between Claus, the Masked Man's true self, and the MM, what Claus became after he was brainwashed.

Proof? Well explain how the MM seems to begin "wake up" when his mother calls his name, but he still doesn't remember who he is for a while. Then he battles with himself. Claus seems to be winning (which is why he is no longer putting effort into the fight) and then the MM retaliates with an attack that would've killed Lucas if not for the Franklin Badge. Was he trying to kill himself, was it an accident, or was it the MM side of him figuring that if he was going to die, he might as well take someone with him? I suspect the world will never know.

August 21, 2009


I'm scared. Only a week of summer left, and I spent the last two weeks on vacation, wasting my summer. I wish I would've stayed.

I'm also scared because unless THEY've broken up, I'll have to see them together. It hurts, but I'm happy that he's happy.

I'm hopeful Brandon will not have moved, because he is nice and he has a HUGE crush on me, and if we become friends maybe I can forget about my old crush. He's a gentleman; he always let me go ahead when getting off the bus or going through a door, even though he was too shy to say anything. I smiled sometimes, and when I get a chance to talk to him I'm going to tell him that I did notice when he was polite and I think it's sweet. It's true, after all.

And I'm nervous because my best friend of nearly a decade who I haven't seen in months (she moved for a year, and I only saw her at Christmas when she came to visit her dad and stepmom) is coming back and I don't know if we're still friends.

Aside from this back to school stuff, I'm scared because I was planning to make a DA account today, but the site seems to have disappeared. Maybe it's server problems or something. I hope they didn't get rid of Deviant Art.

it hurts

I say I don't like him anymore
Now he's going out with a bitch like her
But I know the heart chooses its own desires
And I still hurt when I see them together